Why you shouldn't say "Don't worry" to someone who is stressed.
"Don't worry about it" seems like a harmless phrase, but for someone under stress, it can be not just unhelpful, but harmful. This phrase is often perceived as invalidating experiences. …
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- A Documentary short rated 9.4 — easy to watch in 1m.
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"Don't worry about it" seems like a harmless phrase, but for someone under stress, it can be not just unhelpful, but harmful. This phrase is often perceived as invalidating experiences. Psychologist Guy Winch, in his book "Emotional First Aid," explains that denying feelings blocks their processing.
When we say, "Don't worry," the human brain, especially the amygdala, continues to panic. Instead of support, it hears, "Your problem is unimportant." Stanford University neurobiology professor Robert Sapolsky describes in detail how stress activates primitive responses, shutting down rational thinking.
Imagine a 35-year-old mother of three facing financial difficulties in Moscow. Being told to "Don't worry about it" doesn't alleviate her anxiety for her family, but rather increases her sense of isolation. This devaluation leads to withdrawal, rather than seeking genuine help or expressing emotions.
Scientific evidence confirms that cortisol and adrenaline, the stress hormones, impede the functioning of the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for self-control. The admonition to "not sweat it" ignores this physiological reality. A study published in the journal Psychological Science in 2019 found that suppressing emotions actually increases their intensity.
Instead of empty words, try empathy. Ask, "What can I do for you?" or "I see you're going through a hard time." A simple "I'm here" or "I'm listening" from a loved one, like a 28-year-old friend, means much more. It creates the sense of security needed to cope with stress.
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